Ministry of Bacon

Here’s a post from Spam, our Bacon Bishop, with a very touching ending.  It’s worth the read.

Today, J&D’s Foods, the makers of Bacon Salt and Baconnaise, posted a customer service survey to get some opinions and feedback from their customers in order to gauge what they’ve done and where they should go from here, dangling a $100 gift card as a carrot for one lucky entrant.

Whether or not you’ve tried any of their products, you should take a moment to share your opinions.  Here’s the survey.

Naturally, I was all over this like bacon on a cheeseburger.  Predictably, I gave them glowing reviews on what they’d done, but there were two very exciting parts of the survey.

One one question, they asked my opinion about a number of potention bacon-flavored products (and one non-bacon item: Chorizo Salt).  Additionally, they ask for additional ideas…so here’s what I gave them, off the top of my head:

• Bacon Pasta or Pasta Sauce
• Bacon Salad Dressing
• Maple Bacon Oatmeal
• Bacon Bubble/Chewing Gum
• Bacon Air Fresheners
• Maple Bacon Frosting or Glaze
• Bacon Cheese Slices
• Bacon Bread/Buns/Bagels
• Bacon Toothpaste
• Bacon Tortillas
• Bacon Rice

Yes, I was serious.  I’d try all of those items.

Now, for the even more exciting part.  At the end of the survey, J&D’s says, “Please share any additional thoughts, comments, promotional ideas, product improvements, or experiences with Bacon Salt or Baconnaise.”

This is where I took a few minutes to share a story with them that I had been holding onto for a long time.  Here’s what I gave them:

This is a true story.

As the tale begins, I was already a huge fan of Bacon Salt.  The moment Baconnaise was finally available, I immediately placed my order and awaited the goods.  When it arrived, I immediately left my office and picked up my best friend Anna, who I had a long-standing crush on—and who was also as big of a fan of mayonnaise as I was of bacon.  We went to the nearest Subway shop, ordered a footlong chicken breast sub with only veggies on it, and proceeded to slather it with Baconnaise.  Needless to say, we were both in condiment heaven as we found that Baconnaise was even better than either of us was hoping, and we finished off that jar in only a few days.

A few days after this experience, Anna and I fell deeply in love, and shortly thereafter, decided that we would spend the rest of our lives together.  Without hesitation, I credit Baconnaise for sparking the love between this bacon lover and the mayo lover, and since our love blossomed out of a jar of Baconnaise, I can assure you that it will be a core part of our wedding banquet.

Thank you, Justin and Dave, for inventing Baconnaise and sparking the love of a lifetime.

Sincerely,
Spam, your official Bacon Bishop of Baltimore and founder of the Ministry Of Bacon

And that’s my fairy tale.